Isaac

The first time i actually find someone who is legitimately interested in me, i get too excited and throw myself out there. At the beginning, it was awesome. Course, the beginning was only a little while long. 2 weeks, maybe. Then we got into a routine. Every week we'd see each other, and the same thing would happen. I got a bit concerned about what we were actually doing, and thought that i should talk to him about what we were. I procrastinated far too long, and ruined anything that we could have been.
He is one of the most amusing, energizing, cutest and easiest to talk to person i've ever known, and i feel like i've lost him. It was my choice to tell him that we couldn't keep going on like this anymore, but he made me do it. My brain was in such a knot, with all the girls he would talk to. I couldn't handle feeling like he was into me one day, and not the next. It only makes sense that the person you're involved with would want to talk to you everyday, right? but i was always waiting, wonder, when he was going to text me or talk to me. Scared of who he was hanging out with, and what they were doing.
If i could change one thing, it would be the first night it happened. The night was amazing, until i gave in to almost a complete stranger. Sex should not be something that brings people together at first, it is something that two people who love each other for who they are, do. Never as a -get to know one another- activity. That's exactly what it was for us. and i'd give anything to go back and stay on that trampoline for 3 more hours talking about anything, just laying next to him, playing with his big soft hands... kissing his sensual lips... staring at his handsome brown eyes... touching his body...

All I have left to say is that i'm going to miss him like crazy.